And so to Goa…or “soft” India and it certainly is in comparison to the lunacy of Mumbai!
Guess what? I’m allowed to book accommodation again as I surpassed myself with lovely Jojolapa in Agonda – the bathroom is even bigger than our entire room in Mumbai, it has a garden in it!!!
Gold star for Rachel.
This is for our relaxing part of the holiday – relaxation lasted all of 36 hours before we hired a moped so we can get out and about. Needless to say after my previous experience in trying to ride a bike I am firmly sitting on the back…navigating…kind of? We take a ride out to Patnem, or we would have if I’d told Richard to turn right instead of left…Cola beach it is then! Now to say the road (I say that in the loosest sense of the word) was challenging is an understatement, I just kept saying the encouraging words to Richard like “you’re doing really well”, “you’re such a good driver”, “its fine, just take your time just take it slow” when really all I could hear was my mothers words ringing in my ears saying “Well no wonder you fell off the bike, have you seen the state of the road? – don’t come crying to me when you want some TCP on all of those scratches!” (yes I grew up in the 70’s/80’s TCP was the answer to everything).
Anyhow, Richard is a brilliant driver and we made it there and back in one piece and it was definitely worth turning left for. Patnem another day!
Time to take a trip out to Palolem…Turn RIGHT! and try to find the family we met 16 years ago, such a sweet family who welcomed us, not only into their home, but also took us to his Mams where we cooked on the floor (exactly what I’d wished for before our first trip). So, off on the search for Vitthal & Taru, we had a vague recollection of where their house used to be but Palolem is so built up now it was a bit of guess work, then a breakthrough when asking in one of the restaurants, they say that they think they have a shop at the end of the main street. Off we go crawling, like a couple of stalkers along the street on the bike only to see a head pop out from under several scarfs and skirts with a puzzled face shouting “Richard, Richard – it is you!” It’s Vitthals younger brother, Sanji, he greets us with the biggest hug and says “My brother, he will be so happy you are here, every year he walks up and down the beach with your photograph crying and asking people is Richard staying here? Have you seen him?” Seriously, I think Richard was one step away from having his face on an Indian milk carton from the sounds of it!
“So, where is Vitthal?” we ask “ah…he’s not here – he is away in Karnataka, it’s not far, its only 20 hours on the sleeper bus!” Thankfully, we can avoid that journey as he is coming back to Goa before we leave. Sanji then updates us on all of the family, how they are doing and produces the photographs we sent them back in 2003 when we were all together. “ahh look Richard your hair is different” Sanji says then “Rachel…you…you’re a little fatter now!” Nothing like a bit of Indian honesty to stop you ordering the Nan bread.
We’ll return in a few days as they are closing the shop for the day to celebrate Holi.
The Hindu festival of Holi arrives (the festival where everyone throws coloured power and water on each other) signifying the end of winter and the start of Spring. Our coverings of coloured powder were a more tasteful design done by Mani, one of the Jojolapa waiters, pretty coloured stripes on our faces, unfortunately for Richard he looked less like an Indian festival go’er and more like a gay version of Rambo. One good dunk in the sea and his Rambo stripes had disappeared
We make our way back along to Palolem to celebrate Holi with the family in true Indian moped style…driver – Tick, passenger – tick, bag on your back – tick, water bottle – tick, celebration cake in an oversized box – tick! not one hand spare to hold on incase we hit a pot hole (and there are a few)
A lovely lunch with a lovely family, it’s amazing how little some people have but they want to share it with you.
In true British style we return back to Agonda gasping for a cup of tea so we stop en-route to buy some bigger cups…”Oooh look at those lovely hand painted mugs, we’ll have 2 of those” so after unwrapping the plastic from around them it becomes obvious why they were wrapped up in the first place…they stink! and thats before the boiling water is inside. They are made of tin and as they’ve been painted with enamel paint its like drinking out of a hot radiator.
Now, I haven’t mentioned the additional lodgers we have gained at our hut, “the perfect 4 pack” 4 gorgeous beach dogs who have decided we are their new temporary owners, that is until we get up for yoga one morning and someone has left us a little present of poo on the mat. So for the rest of the day they have all been sent to the naughty step until we find out which one it was – Yes Richard wanted the CCTV evidence – it comes to something when reception has the time to watch 8 hours of footage to find out who was the guilty dog! Low and behold it wasn’t one of them, it was Baboo, the restaurant pug who will hump anything and everything he can get near to. Normal service is resumed and Richard, feeling guilty that he’d blamed the perfect 4 pack, comes back from the shop with an ice cream for each of them…Baboo, watch and weep you’re getting Nothing!
Over the last few days the temperatures and humidity have been rapidly rising so time for the resort to put up some parasols on the beach. Best do it at night for 2 reasons –
- it’s cooler
- the majority of the guests will miss the fact that the chef has come out of the kitchen (still wearing his hair net) and is using his soup ladle to dig the holes!
Think I’ll give tomorrow’s daal a miss.
Now as it’s almost my 46th birthday it’s time to have a little pedicure pamper at the same time as Richard is having a massage. Now I’ve mentioned before how famous Agonda is for having power cuts and today is no exception – so you just have to imagine how hot it is in the metal shipping container which doubles as the “therapy centre” not to mention its pitch black as the girl brings out the tray of nail varnishes it’s pot luck what colour I’m getting as I can’t see a hand in front of me – she , at least can see enough to cut my toe nails and scrape off the hard skin. Unfortunately, all of the toe clippings are pinging underneath the curtain where Richard is having his massage, its going to be like stepping onto a bed of pork scratchings when he gets up. All done and into the light…nail varnish result – I ended up with Easyjet orange! Unfortunately, that same night when walking along the beach I stepped in a big pile of cow shit – maybe it will bring me good luck?
Birthday has arrived – off to early morning yoga and then Richard has arranged a boat as a surprise which is taking us around to some of the smaller beaches which the moped can’t get to. On the way we see a beautiful big turtle and dolphins (so lovely to see them in their natural environment), its then off for a little shop, sunbathe and ready for dinner with another surprise of a lovely birthday cake and the crescendo of the evening…Baboo, right in front of us, licking one of our perfect 4 packs cocks, then climbing aboard and going like the clappers. Well gay dog sex wasn’t the birthday entertainment I was expecting, a simple Happy Birthday song would have done!
There is so much on this holiday that has made us say “What?” “you can’t be serious?” just in the short time we’ve been here…
Buying petrol on the side of the road out of empty water bottles to fill the moped…
Going to buy a bottle of wine and you can buy eggs and a toilet seat in the same place…
You’re given mosquito repellant with your glass of wine…
In the airport you can buy a Pot Noodle (in the Indian equivalent of WH Smiths) then boil the kettle to make it right outside…
AND… the only dog in our “Perfect 4 pack” who still has his 2 balls is called Tony…3 guesses what Richards middle name is?…
Namaste Pet xxx
p.s Yes we did go back to see Vitthal
AND…guess who else I saw…”who is STILL making sense” Namaste Sudhir x
Middle Seat Passenger 