Well over my time I’ve tried various types of different massages but this must be one of the weirdest!
On entering thermes de chaves it was like walking into Cocoon, I was the youngest in there by at least 35 years, so, on that basis, I thought its got to do you good.
I chose the “Douche massage” not to be confused with what that means in the USA otherwise that would be really weird with all these 90 year olds!
So, imagine walking through a giant puddle and you climb up onto a very high very soggy sun bed with a sponge on top, you’re lying face down & then you get a hot towel thrown over the back of your head.
Then they turn a shower on over the top of you (albeit thermal water).
Then comes the avalanche of oil so that they can massage you.
It was like having a massage in the pissing rain, whilst holding your legs as steady as possible on the bed so that they didn’t go sliding off with all the oil on them, closely followed by your entire body!
However, all I could think of was, I wonder how long it takes for his toes to go wrinkly plodding around in this puddle all day?
I forgot to say, you go in with your bikini on so at the end of the massage, god love him, he had to tie the bikini top back on & I did think between all of the water & oil I’ll be amazed if both of the girls are in when I stand up. However, this was the least of my worries as he shook my head under the hot towel & as I’d forgotten to take my mascara off I skidded my way back to the changing room, due to the amount of oil now in my flip flops, and I looked like a cross between Oor Willie & Alice Cooper! certainly not like the fresh faced 90 years olds downstairs!
All that was called for after that was a glass of Chaves finest!
Middle Seat Passenger 